Yes, i know you are struggling, the look in your eyes just speaks of the hardships that you are going through now, i know because I myself is also walking on that path, but Alhamdulillaah, we only find such comfort and ease when we have placed our full trust in Allāh Azza wa jāll.
Its true that not everyone or sometimes no one can understand that pain that we are going through but also we know that even tho we do not speak of it, Allaah knows what’s in our hearts and only He can mend such a tested heart.
Let me remind you of some beautiful words pertaining on the grandeur of placing our trust in Allāh:
 "If Allāh has written for you happiness, no-one can steal that from you, and if He has written for your heart to break, then no-one can mend it but He, so always put your trust in Allah."
 "It was said that tawakkul is when the heart knows that the Lord is sufficient for the slave."
 “Tawakkul is having full faith that Allah will take care of you—even when things look impossible.”
Indeed, such words can only be felt once we ourselves makes the effort of doing so, believe me no one can put such ease in your heart than Allāh, His Words in the Qur’ān.
What else can make a believer at his or her happiest than knowing that Allāh loves him or her, won’t you want to be loved by Allāh when he says in the Qur’ān;
 ”So when you have made your decision, put your trust in Allāh, certainly, Allāh loves those who puttheir trust (in Him).”
Realize that without Allāh with you, nothing can be truly achieved…
 "The way to be successful in the end, is to turn to Allāh at the beginning."
He is the first step to success, and He is the final result of your success. Always remember that.
Be with Allāh and He will be with you.
And oh, my dearest brothers and sisters in Islam, please never forget to make du’a for your fellow muslim brothers and sisters, remember what Muhammad sallallahu allaihi wassalaam said;
 “The supplication of a Muslim for his brother in his absence will certainly be answered. Everytime he makes a supplication for good for his brother, the angel appointed for this particular task says: `Ameen! May it be for you, too’.”
So make a long list of du’as it is always fun to list down those names of your beloved and every after salah, you sit down on your prayer mat, grabbing the list and one by one you talk to Him and ask for them, wallah the feeling it brings is just indescribable, so i urge you to try it, for it truly frees the soul from envy and hatred.
Always be generous on making du’a.
and we pray that in the darkest moments of our lives, we find nothing but His absolute Light and Guidance, such light that it makes us see what’s the beauty behind all these struggles. in sha Allāh. Amīn.
 Words of ‘Aidh ibn Abdullah al-Qarni
 Words of Ibn Al Qayyim
 Words of Yasmin Mogahed
 Qur’ān 3:159
 Words of Yasir Qadhī